Wow… What a month this has been! I’m absolutely amazed and excited about what has happened this month with the adoptee’s role in National Adoption Awareness Month. I’ve been whining about how we don’t get any media attention and that if we did, things would start to change. Finally, we got the attention we deserve during a month that typically muted our voices. In my blog posts, I consistently say that we need to be louder and let’s raise our voices and be heard. With the “flip the script” movement, we have done just that. Above that, I believe we were heard and that is phenomenal.

So what have we learned? Most importantly, we learned that we’re not alone and that so many others have the same feelings, whether they are good or bad, we can all relate on all levels. As complex as our feelings are, we can relate to each and every one of them. That is amazing! It means we have support where we never knew we had it. We learned it is ok to talk about our truest feelings. This was my biggest lesson. If you spend any time on my blog at all, you know I’m all about focusing on the positive so I tended to take the “it is what it is” attitude and talk about how to overcome it. I have a few posts that express some negative feelings on my part and now I believe those are my best posts. I have to be real. I have to tell it the way I feel it because others are feeling it too and don’t want it to be glossed over as if those feelings aren’t valid. I hope that my future posts are reflective of that lesson. I still believe we can all live positive lives but I need to talk about how I personally process the negative to a positive if I hope to help others. I learned that Adoption Awareness Month has always been from the adoptive parent and adoption agencies perspectives. You would think that I would already know that, but honestly, I didn’t take a moment to think about that. They work off the “script” and we never had a say in it. I do believe “awareness” means total awareness, which includes adoptees perspectives. How can people truly learn about adoption if they are completely dismissing our experiences? I learned that most people are well-meaning and just never thought about what happens after the adoption. Most TV reporters said they hadn’t thought about what happens post-adoption. There is so much hype about pre-adoption, but zero hype on post-adoption because that’s the not so pretty side of it. I never knew what adoptees and birth mothers meant by “not so pretty” side and it’s not all unicorns and rainbows until this month. I definitely think my adoption was the right thing to do for me so I always bought the script of how great adoption is but “flip the script”,and the vocal adoptees, have pulled my true feelings out of me and made me realize that although I’m in a great place and have a great adoptive family, it wasn’t all pretty and unicorns and rainbows. Wow.

So where do we go from here? Now that we know about each other and have this amazing momentum with the “fiip the script” movement, how do we stay connected and even increase the media attention we have received?I think The Lost Daughters will have more great ideas and I think that other film makers and media outlets will slowly but surely pick up our story. I also intend to do something to keep us connected and hopefully gain national attention with a conference that is FOR adoptees BY adoptees. There are several adoption conferences that either focus on adoptive parents, agencies, or even presented by birth mothers but I don’t know of any conferences that are strictly for us, our well-being, and for our interests. I will be planning this conference to be in November of next year (get it? NAAM) We are going to flip the script big-time and all come together for 2 days of healing, expressing, and learning from each other. I want to have experts speak on searching, DNA testing, reform, and the trauma we suffered. I also want to have a memorial service where we light lanterns and release them into the sky for the loss of our first families. I am so anxious to meet all the wonderful adoptees that I have met this month! I think this conference is a wonderful way for us to meet and further stay connected. Our power in numbers could even make a difference in adoption legislation reform.

I’m so sad this month is over but I know we are going to keep it going and we’re not losing each other (issues of abandonment) we’re gaining so much more. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you to The Lost Daughters for giving us the platform to speak openly and honestly and thank you to the adoptees who have been so brave and having conversations with me. I so value your opinions, your friendship, and your help in opening my eyes. THANK YOU!