As adoptees, we all have triggers that cause pain, sadness, or melancholy feelings regarding our adoption. For me, it’s my birthday. Even though my birthday is my favorite day of the year, it was also the one day that I KNEW my biological mother was thinking of me. At the end of the day, I would stare up into the night sky and tell her that I was thinking about her too, as cheesy as that was, it made me feel better. It warmed my heart to know that I was connecting with her in some crazy way. Once I met her, my birthday was a source of complete happiness because I didn’t have to send messages into the universe anymore, I could just talk to her. Then last Christmas I got the message about my biological grandmother (the one who arranged the adoption) that let me know she thought of me every year on my birthday and now I am triggered again on my birthday, this time thinking of her. My heart hurts for my grandmother who did the only thing she knew to do and what she thought was the best thing to do…. who suffered as greatly as my biological mother and I did. I had no idea she was so affected by it because she is the one who made the decision and now that I know she hurt so much by the loss of me, I hurt for the loss all over again. It really is a never ending cycle of pain. Even though people argue that the knowledge brings more pain, I would say that not knowing leaves a deeper, wider hole because our imaginations wreak havoc on our minds and hearts. I would definitely rather know because then I can process it and deal with the TRUTH, not imagination. Unfortunately, adoptees rarely get the truth and that is the most unforgivable yet accepted practice. Adoption causes irreparable trauma and I believe many adoptees suffer from PTSD from that trauma. Triggers are a symptom of PTSD and are a reminder of the trauma. Let’s talk about our trauma…. because we can’t heal by going around the pain, only through it. What are your triggers? Get on Twitter and join the #flipthescript movement to describe how adoption affected you, the adoptee, the only one that matters. Our voices need to be heard.