Well I should begin by letting everyone know that I love my birthday! I’ve always loved it and continue to love it even though I’ve just turned 39! I maybe should be horrified by the number but I’m not that person. I just enjoy the fact that today is all about me and I don’t have to feel guilty about that! I absolutely love hearing from all of my friends and family on facebook about how much they love me 🙂 I’ve had a bit of a down week so it really brought me back up! So speaking of a down week, I want to talk about what a lot of adoptees are talking about this month and that is triggers. Triggers are discussions, events, or situations that cause an emotional reaction. I have seen several posts and articles about the holidays being a huge trigger for adoptees. I was surprised because that has never been one for me. Prior to my reunion with my birth family I had only one trigger and that was my birthday. I hate to even call that a trigger because I never let it consume me but I would always take a moment on my birthday to think of my birth mother and wonder if she was thinking of me too. It is SO cliché but I would look up into the sky and imagine she was looking up in the sky at the same time and wishing me a happy birthday. It comforted me and I would move on about my day. It’s interesting to me that I also love my birthday because I’m a bit of an attention monger; I love attention and this is the one day that is supposed to be all about me! So even though I would think of my birth mother and feel a small tinge of sadness for a moment, I still loved having my day. I can see how it would be easy to consume ourselves with the sadness that comes along with being adopted but if I had let sadness overcome me then I would’ve missed out on the joy of celebrating my day or my Christmas or Easter or any other holiday. I was fortunate in that I had a big loving family that had fun holiday traditions which brought me more joy than the sadness that being adopted brought me. When you’re facing a trigger, find something that brings you joy and focus on that. Reflect on your adoption for a moment, then get to celebrating your life because you’re a treasured human being in this life that others are very happy to have around.

This is a poem I wrote about my birth mother years before I found her:

A mother and daughter for thirty years waiting…

Each one anticipating…

With a love so sweet and a bond so deep…

A mother and daughter, our lives now complete