What’s in a name?

adoptee name

that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title.  – Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
I recently read a blog article by a blogger who legally added her birth parents’ last name to her own name. To complicate things, she isn’t even in contact with her birth parents as the reunion didn’t go well. She explained that her name was her identifier and she felt that her birth parents are part of her identity. Although I do agree with the fact that your birth parents are part of your identity, I am not so sure that their last name identifies YOU. Does that make sense? Your birth parents are part of your identity because they passed down heritage and traits to you that are part of what makes you who you are. However, who you really are is not determined by your name. Your name is an identifier that lets people know what family you belong to, essentially. Like homeo sapiens identifies human, your last name identifies you to your family. When you get married and take on your husband’s last name then you are identified by your new family you are creating. I can’t say she’s wrong for wanting to add her birth parents’ name to her own but I can’t say that I would do the same for myself although I have a great relationship with my birth mother and that family. I am also PROUD to be a part of her heritage however, I do not desire to legally add her name to my own. What is honest and true to me is that my maiden name, Williams, is the family where I came from and how I want people to identify me. I guess I might be in the minority on this opinion. I’m interested to know your point of view on this matter. Would you change your name to add your birth parents’ name and why? Will you feel more fulfilled by doing this, does it fill a hole in your heart? You should absolutely do what makes you happy and feel good so I’m not trying to discourage anyone, I’m just curious because I do not feel that way at all. Talk to me!

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