But there is space for all of us…

You can’t categorize adoptees by our situations or how we feel because we all have different stories and associated feelings about it. There are no buckets of “angry” or “happy” adoptees but people (even other adoptees) seem to try and do that all the time. The truth is we are both angry and happy at the same time and depending on the day (or trigger) we fall somewhere between on the spectrum. If you just had to bin us together, I would call us all the  inbetweeners”. Our adoptions have forced us into this space where we have the right to be mad but told to be happy. How would YOU resolve the conflict between opposing ideals and emotions? We are inbetween angry and happy although we may have our happy days and angry days.

The saddest part of people trying to group us into these labels is that those same people won’t listen to the diversity of our feelings. I have found an amazing group of adoptees who are the most kind and empathetic people I have ever met. We are all very different and we all accept those differences. Some of my friends experienced horrible traumas in their life directly due to their adoption. Most of them have very strained reunion stories and have suffered second rejections. On the other hand, I have (for the most part) had good outcomes from both my adoption and my reunion. Although I haven’t suffered as much as some, I can still empathize and relate because we all experienced the trauma that started it all, being taken from our natural families. I’m allowed to be part of the conversation because I offer my ear and emotional support. They do not ignore me or tell me I’m being too positive because I’m not preaching the script to them. I can be positive yet feel the pain at the same time. I’m an inbetweener. We all are; so embrace each other because there is space for all of us and we need each other.