The moment you find out you’re adopted, you rethink everything you thought you knew about yourself. I did it in 4th grade, when I was told, and I still do it today. One thing that fascinates me is why I am the way I am. I talk more about that in my book. I often think of certain traits I have and wonder where it came from or how I came to be that way. Is it genetic or did I learn it in my environment? I ultimately believe that our genetics are the blueprints and our parents and/or environment nurtures that blueprint. Genetics are raw data, so to speak. Just like engineers take raw data and develop something amazing, our parents or whoever raised us, do the same thing. For instance, I am fiercely independent. I was thinking about that a few weeks ago, wondering why I do not depend on anyone else for anything so I began to look back from my earliest memories. As a child, everyone told me that I was independent and liked to try things on my own. I do remember never feeling fear about new things or people, more excitement than anything else. As I got older, young teen to young adult, I believed that the world and my family owed me something and took advantage of my opportunities. I was dependent on my family and friends to make things happen for me and to make me happy by giving me everything I wanted. When it was time to go to college I was ready to leave right after graduation. I thought I knew it all but I knew that if I messed up and needed anything my parents would be there to bail me out. I was right, when I messed up badly, my mom scooped me up and took me home however, it wasn’t going to be like it was before. I was pretty upset about my situation and how I had messed up. That is when my mom said something to me which changed me forever. She told me I had to pick myself up, it was up to me to pull myself out of this bad situation and do something for myself. It was up to me, and me alone. She nor my dad nor anyone else could do it for me. That is when I realized life as I knew it was over and it was time to depend on myself. This… this is the moment that began the development of that independence I was born with into the fiercely independent woman I am today. I admit that I maybe developed it a little too far as I even have a hard time letting my sweet husband open doors for me or carrying all the groceries for me but I’ve spent the last 20 years depending on myself to have money, to have a career, to raise a child, to live where I want to live and to carry my own groceries… My mom told me no one else could just make my life for me, I had to do it myself and I have! And by doing that, I have made myself happy. That independence gave me the courage to walk away from two toxic relationships. That independence allowed me to be a happy, successful woman and I can proudly say – I did it for myself. I had help along the way, sure, but I am where I am today because of me. I am who I am today because of DNA with a lot of help from my parents. I suggest you look at your own personality traits and tendencies and think back to where it started and how it developed. It’s interesting to find those checkpoints in your life that either developed or subdued your DNA prescribed personality traits. Your birth parents gave you DNA, your environment gave you little nuggets in the development of that DNA but it was YOU who decided what to do with that. You are not dependent on anyone to figure out who you are, you already have the information now it’s time to just analyze it and build yourself up using the blueprints and materials you were given. Tell me about a personality trait you have and where/how you think it has been developed or subdued.