Why do I get the eye roll, huffs and puffs, and judging looks like I am just so naïve for being positive about life? Because I believe the best in people and that situations can always be better, does that mean that I’m stupid? Does it mean that I don’t know what I’m talking about or don’t have anything of value to say because it’s already been proven wrong? I mean, honestly, it doesn’t make me any less positive it only makes me sad for the other person. Let’s face it, in the world of adoption, there are a lot of negative feelings and situations but there are a lot of positive feelings and situations, too! However, this is NOT the point. It doesn’t matter how good or bad situations are; what matters is what kind of person you are and how you look at life. I have had negative situations and feelings before. I was in an awful relationship before and it took me five years to realize if I wanted to be happy that it was up to me to make that happen so I ended the relationship. Instead of thinking that all men would be that way, I knew there were better men out there and that I would find one. I did face the big wall of secrecy when I started searching for my birth mother. I was frustrated but I let the frustration feed my determination to find her. I wrote the state leaders and thank God, they opened the records so I could get my original birth certificate. Even when I got that, I still faced obstacles to finding her but I kept pushing. When I found her, I had to face my family and comfort my mom who had a really hard time with my decision to search and reunite. It was hard for my family and it was hard for me. During all of this, I went through yet another bad relationship but thankfully learned by my first experience that it was up to me to change my situation. A year later, I found the love of my life and also gave the gift of life to my birth aunt. These are both very positive things but then I faced rejection by a birth parent. My birth father now knows about me and hasn’t reached out. I have been through a lot of negative situations, so don’t assume that because I am positive that I am naïve or that I don’t know what it’s like to suffer through depression or insecurity. It has always been and always will be on ME to make changes that will enrich my life. There are so many out there who are selflessly giving their time, effort and emotions to make the adoption industry better and to change legislation to help adoptees but I have noticed that so many of them are seriously cynical and/or miserable and negative. Maybe that’s what it takes to actually make changes. I find myself getting wrapped up in that quite often. Of course I want to see changes that will make things better but my personal focus is on adoptees and trying to make them just feel better, hopeful, and positive. I want to help those that are working tirelessly with whatever they need but I’m not going to change my positive attitude. Not only that, I am determined to spread that positivity and will push tirelessly to help other adoptees feel positive. I try to understand the “why” in other people’s behaviors that are bringing me down. I find that most of the time their negative behaviors have nothing to do with me, rather it is their own issues. Knowing and understanding this makes me feel compassion for them and allows me to feel better about myself. Take what you’ve learned from your awful situations and bring YOURSELF to a better place. Let your sadness or frustration fuel your determination. Let people roll their eyes at you for thinking the world can be a better place and that not everyone is bad. We need positive people in this world! Keep smiling, keep searching for the meaning in it all. It only makes you a better person whom everyone will want to be around. Everything happens for a reason. Search for that reason and learn from it! Please, please know that I am always here for anyone who needs to talk to someone who gets it. I can help you find the meaning in it all without diminishing the severity of what you’re going through. I’m not naïve, I just choose to live a happy, positive life.