Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy’s words have haunted me since I watched her rant on YouTube a few days ago. Her belief is that there is no 30 year old professional single woman who chooses adoption. I would add – that doesn’t also feel horror, regret, and pain for the rest of her life just like every other mother who chooses adoption. I actually DO happen to know of a lady who placed her child for adoption somewhere around the age of 30 and who told me that thoughts of her baby girl haunt her everyday and that she will search for her when she’s older. This lady had been through a horrible divorce and went through a “wild” period and ended up pregnant. She wasn’t even certain who the father was when she ran off to another state and literally picked up a phone book and found the first adoption agency in the yellow pages. As she was speaking to me I could hear a little complacency about her decision as I’m sure she had already convinced herself then it was the right thing to do and since it wasn’t something she could change now she focused on the future, when she would hopefully reunite with her daughter. I only tell that story to say the 30 something professional choosing adoption exists but is just like every other first mother out there, whether they’re 16 or 40 years old. I think this was Claudia’s point and I do agree with that! My point is, as an adoptee, it makes me feel good to know that these mothers, on the whole, want their babies. My first mother, somewhere deep in her heart and mind, wanted to keep me. She was influenced and told what to do by external forces and she was too weak or scared to say no! She wanted me. That makes me feel good. It hurts my heart for her, but I feel better knowing I was wanted and that she probably ran the possibilities and what-if’s through her mind everyday. I’m sure she still does it! Adoptees, don’t feel thrown away or unwanted. Your first mothers wanted you!!! No matter what the circumstance, she wanted you. The first mother that gives her baby up and NEVER wonders about that baby again or hopes that the baby was raised in a good loving family – she is the one that doesn’t exist.