How do we know everything that we’re doing right now is for the best? How can we know the effects our decisions will have on the future? We can’t. We can’t ever know that for certain, unless you own a crystal ball or can see the future, and that is ok. You make the best decisions you can and if that has a negative impact later on, then you deal with it at that time. I had no idea if the things I did for my daughter at 3 years old would positively or negatively impact her behavior at 14 years old. I never even considered when she was so young what my actions were doing to her psyche and how it was going to shape her as a young adult. I just did what I thought was right for her and for me, us. She is 14 years old now and I’m so happy to see that she has become a very well balanced and independent young lady. I know that now, but there was no way of telling then, that I was doing the right things. Every first mother out there is also faced with a decision that has absolutely no predictable outcome, even these days when a first mother can choose the adoptive parents. How can they know for certain that their decision will be a positive impact on that child’s life. Let’s strip the “coercers and forcers” out of this. Let’s strip it down to one mother and one child and the decision that mother makes for the sake of her child. It’s the most important decision of her life, and she has no idea if it’s the right one or not. The only way for her to ever know is reuniting with her child to see for herself. Even though a lot of first mothers push the thoughts of her baby away to keep from hurting so much, it is always there and will never go away. Why should a mother be punished her whole life for a decision she made under extreme pressure and duress? We have to get the laws changed and open up records allowing first mothers to reunite with their children. It is a crime against nature to forever keep them (us) separated. We have to fight to change the legislation keeping records closed. We have to yell, scream, throw fits, and tell our stories to the world, to anyone who will listen. Let’s do it for our first mothers, and let’s do it for ourselves because crystal balls aren’t enough.