I never see blogs or articles or thought-pieces that take into consideration the adoptees that are happy and content with being adopted. I see LOTS of opinions on how every child should remain with their first mother and/or father but I know there are adoptees out there that would strongly disagree with that. Just as unhappy adoptees have felt like their needs aren’t considered, the happy adoptees aren’t being considered. We can’t base laws or programs or industries on one-sided opinions. I’m not saying that adoption doesn’t need to be reformed. What I’m saying is that just because the happy adoptees aren’t vocal because they are content doesn’t mean they don’t exist. These adoptees would say there is nothing they would change about their own situation. Would you call them uneducated?? Would you call them naïve? Why can’t they just be happy that they’re adopted? They have the right to feel that way, no one should tell them they’re wrong for that. There are many adoptees that suffer from the fact they are adopted and there are many that don’t. When considering adoption reform and whether or not adoption should exist, ALL perspectives should be considered. I’ve written before that studies should be done on adoption that covers all involved and to include cryogenic children. How can you form an educated opinion, and subsequently reform, without considering all perspectives? It’s the only way we can really make a positive change for everyone. We are all different people and there can’t be one blanket answer that fits for every single individual and their personal best interests. Part of the problem is that adoption was never treated as a complicated issue when it is extremely complicated. Let’s all do our due diligence and consider all opinions and feelings, not just what we THINK is the majority opinion. Then, and only then, can we make the best, most positive changes for the best interest of every child.
Of course, all sides of the adoption issue need to be taken into account, and it is a very complicated issue. I would separate it into at least two parts, which would perhaps make it easier to think about. First there are contemporary adoptions occuring in a far different social climate than what obtained forty years ago. Before Roe v. Wade, unwed mothers were considered shameful creatures to be hidden away and their babies forgotten by their families of origin. Those mothers and their children were given no choice, and now they need help in finding each other. Even happy adoptees deserve the right to know where and who they came from. If a married woman can change her mind about her marriage and sue for divorce, why can’t a mature woman change her mind about a decision she made as a teenager or otherwise challenged young woman and be allowed to find her child? Where was the protection when those women needed help with an unplanned pregnancy? No one should assume they want protection from the truth now.
Thank you for your perspective! And I agree!! To me whether you’re happy or sad, the one thing that ties us all together is the right to know! Thank you!!