Ahhh forgiveness… that elusive action that has such great power! I’m a very forgiving person, in fact, it’s pretty hard to hurt me like that. I pride myself in having such an open mind I can hear and understand all sides of a story and that everyone sees things differently (part of what makes human so great and interesting). Yeah…. that’s me when I’m dealing with the living. The ones that are gone is somewhat of a different story. That’s when forgiving is hard to do because I can’t hear the other side of the story or the explanation. I like to figure out the why of everything because I grow that way. How do I rationalize things without the other side of the story? It’s more difficult but it is no less important to forgive. I was never upset or angry about being given up for adoption but I was also lucky enough to get the explanation from my birth mother. I’m compassionate, I understood and it helps that I had an amazing family so I was never angry at her. I’m happy she made the decision she made, I honestly am. What I never thought about or considered was my biological grandmother’s part in the decision mainly because unfortunately, she passed shortly before I found my birth mother. The fact is, she is really the one who made the decision for my birth mother. When I recently heard that she had thought of me often, it opened a can of emotional worms for me. I found myself to be a little hurt not only because she made that decision but because she never had the same opportunity my birth mother did to explain to me why. If I was never upset about it before, why now? I think I just never even thought about her part in it before and I’m upset because she never got to tell me personally that she thought of me and loved me. So here I am, needing to forgive her because I know that she did only what she thought was best for HER daughter and of course, me. From what I’ve been told she was a great lady, everyone loved her… and so do I. I don’t think I need to forgive HER, I need to forgive and let go of the fact that I can’t hear from her personally about how much she missed me and thought of me because I know she did. I will open my eyes to the messages she is passing to me through the living and forgive. This brings me peace. Now you try it… forgive the silent ones.