There are so many different angles and opinions on adoption. I want to know the feelings of the adoptees with less popular opinions. I happen to know an adoptee who, unlike most adoptees, has no interest in finding their bio family. I am grateful that this one answered questions for me so that maybe I can begin to understand why they don’t care to search while SO many of us do. This person has not read all of the countering arguments against adoption, privacy laws, etc… they don’t think about adoption ever because they doesn’t feel any negative effects from it. This adoptee is a male and the adoptees I’ve spoken to who aren’t interested in searching are usually males. I’d like to hear from more adoptees who don’t care to search because I’m curious if that’s mostly males or females. If you guys like this format, I will do more! Of course… that means I need adoptees who are willing to give a testimonial for less popular opinions! So please enjoy this perspective and remember that we are all different in our own beautiful ways so don’t judge. I do, however, encourage debate so please read and give your own opinions in the comments.
Adoptee Testimonial time
When did you find out you were adopted and what were you told? I’m guessing it was just before I started school, about 5 years old. I don’t remember an exact conversation.
I recall Mom telling me about being adopted in more of a romanticized “story narrative” than in facts and details, which I suppose would be the best way to approach the subject with a 5 year old. The story about how I was adopted was emphasized over the why and what for. Private planes leased and flown in the middle of the night, secret location to pick me up, deep in the heart of New Orleans French Quarter, meetings arranged with lawyers to make the deal…
What was your initial reaction? Great story, I liked it. Still do. As I matured, the back story of “how and where” faded to a much greater appreciation of “why” they adopted a baby, and a gratefulness for being the child that ended up where I did.
Did you find yourself thinking about it when you had troubles as a teenager? I never had troubles as a teenager that I didn’t create myself, or adjust to and move on. It was a neutral part of me that didn’t promote a greater sense of being more special, but certainly didn’t make me feel slighted in any way.
Do you think that your actions as a teenager had anything to do with the fact you were adopted or just a typical rebellious kid? There was nothing about my teen years that were affected by being an adoptee.
Were you ever curious about who your parents are? If not, why do you think that is? Yes, I have been curious about the idea of who my birth parents might have been.
Did you ever consider looking for them? If not, why not? No, never really had a passion about making the effort to seek them out. No specific reason as to why not, just probably more of a feeling of comfort with the life I was given, adoptive parents, etc.
What do you think of adoption, is it a good practice? Of course it’s a good practice, I can’t imagine an argument against it.
What do you think of the privacy laws regarding the birth parents? I can understand why privacy laws favor protection for birth parents, as opposed to opening up in the other direction.
Unfortunately I think that in the U.S, too many opportunistic people (and lawyers) have created so much frivolous litigation for monetary gain, that loosening up privacy protection in adoption situations for full disclosure, could have a negative impact on the number of positive healthy adoptions that could occur.
Would you ever want a copy of your original birth certificate? Sure.
Do you believe in the rights of adoptees to have access to their original birth certificates? Yes, but I understand that in some cases it may not provide full disclosure.