I saw a blog recently (can’t remember where now) that described the first few weeks of their life as lost, as if it never happened and how that upset them. That really resonated with me, I can relate. My life as Elizabeth began at 6 weeks old, but what about the previous six weeks? I was called “Susan” by the nurses and there are a few hand written pages by a nurse who was nice enough to document my mood, my sleeping and eating habits, and anything else my mom would need to know when I finally arrived home. It is so weird and hard for me to wrap my head around the fact I was in some type of holding place or orphanage if even for that short time. It’s clear I was taken care of and I’m sure the nurses were loving as they could be for all the babies there. I write in my book about how they said I was cranky and I imagined it was because I went straight from the womb to strangers, not even my parents. My birth mother was told not to look at me or hold me so she didn’t. But did those first six weeks define who I am today? Of course not, because my parents took me home and from the first time I was in their arms, I was re-born. The last 38 years of ups and downs have canceled out those first six weeks. I don’t remember those six weeks, does any person remember their first six weeks? What about a child whose mother suffers from PPD and doesn’t connect with their baby right away but overcomes it and then is able to be a loving mother to the baby? Does that child suffer from a feeling of rejection for the rest of their lives because of that? I’m not saying they don’t, just asking the question. Personally, I don’t feel that first six weeks defined me in any way. I don’t remember that time therefore it has no effect on me. However, I don’t want those first six weeks to be lost and forgotten because it happened and it was unlike most other children’s first six weeks that aren’t adopted. It’s good to remember and reflect but for me, events that happened in my first six weeks is nothing compared to the events that happened in the rest of my life that actually did define me.
Hi Liz. I still don’t know exactly how old I was when my adoptive parents brought me home or how long I spent with my birth mom after I was born. Those are a few of the many questions I have about my adoption. Like you, I don’t feel like those early days defined me. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Lynne 🙂
Hi Lynne! I really enjoyed your piece on the ethnic background. Thanks for your comment, and I’m happy you didn’t let those first weeks or months define you! You’re smart 🙂 Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving too! xoxo