A friend asked me about my thoughts on foreign adoptions. My initial, knee-jerk reaction is that we should be adopting children in our own country first, but, I’m admittedly a bit ignorant on the subject so I did a little bit of research on it. I don’t like to speak my opinion without any facts to build my awareness. I was surprised to learn that in 2012 there were nearly as many US adoptions as international adoptions: 8,668 foreign adoptions vs 8,601 US adoptions. (Office of Children’s Issues statistics) The New York Times reports that international adoptions has suffered a 62% decline from an all time high of 22,991 foreign adoptions in 2004. The Huffington Post says this is because there is a decline in the availability of children. I think that is because the US tightened up on the regulations, rightfully so, because there was a lot of corruption going on in the international adoption industry. Just from a light google search I saw many stories about babies being ripped away from birth families without permission and embezzlement and fraud among foreign country governments. Why do that when there are so many babies right here in our very own country that need homes? There are over 400,000 orphans in the United States. (Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute) Having said all this, I do understand there are always special circumstances, as in the case of my Uncle who was adopted out of Korea by my grandfather who served in the Korean conflict. I am thankful for that particular foreign adoption. So as my initial reaction was to say no, we should adopt here at home, the other side of me asks why are we discriminating just by the country they come from? Millions of babies across the world need a home so why should we forget about them, as a richer country? So my opinion now is that I don’t know what is right or wrong. I think that each situation is different as people have different needs and situations. Sadly, there are too many babies and not enough good homes around the world. As an American, I want to say adopt here first, but as a human, I say do what feels right for you. It is a very personal choice and who am I to judge? All I would ask is that it is done legally and appropriately so that children aren’t “bought” and/or taken from their birth families against their wishes. If you’re considering adopting abroad, also have a solid plan in place to help that child not feel different, disconnected, or insecure because they look different and have different cultures than you. Respect that culture and help that child incorporate their mother country into their identities. It will be obvious that they come from a different country so don’t pretend that they don’t. Ok, I guess that’s my current opinion on the subject. I’m open to debate and more education on the subject. Let me know what you all think.
Ok so here’s what I think and feel!
I see the child as a child not one from USA or another Country. Regardless of where they were born shouldn’t matter. All children have a right to a loving home whether being from anywhere beside the USA! It breaks my heart to see how many children there are to be adopted anywhere. Making a decision to adopt outside of the USA is a preference people make, it’s what they wante to do at the time. I honestly would adopt from anywhere and would love the child as if he not she was born anywhere. Hopefully I’m making sense, sounds right in my head. A child is a child regardless of where the place of birth.
thanks Wendy!! I do agree, a child is a child. And in any adoption the adoptive parents need to be prepared to answer questions and make a child feel like they belong. With some foreign adoptions they need to also be prepared to introduce their culture. Thank you for your feedback!! Xoxo
Foreign adoption is something near to my heart. My uncle and aunt adopted two children from Korea in the early 80s and it opened my parents’ eyes to a whole new possibility. You see, my parents had me and my little sister as their biological children, but later in life, decided that their family wasn’t complete. They looked into domestic adoption, but they hit several walls along the way: they were in their late 30s and at that time, the window was rapidly closing on age limitations for adopting (at that time, I admit to not knowing about current age limitations) and the process was very long (loads of red tape) compared to foreign adoption.
My dad’s brother was a missionary in Philippines for several years, so he talked with my parents about the many children who needed loving homes there, so that was a great jumping off point for my parents. They looked into the culture, foods and several different agencies and decided on Holt International and to indeed go with the Philippines. It was a long road with many home visits and family interviews. My brother was set to arrive when he was about 7mo, but at the time, the Philippine govt was in upheaval, so there was far more red tape than anticipated. In the end, he was 15mo when he arrived and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. This was before parents had to go to the country of origin to pick up the child, the agency flew my brother, accompanied by a nun, to us. When the nun handed my brother to my mom, he said, “Mama!” Seriously, the most precious thing ever. I was 13yo, so I remember it vividly.
I’ve always said that if I were not able to have a biological child of my own, adoption was a wonderful option and that I would do it without hesitation.
Jodi, that is a beautiful story, thank you for sharing that with us! I love that your parents wanted a child so badly that they didn’t care where he/she came from. That is a beautiful love. How your brother came off the plane so open for love is touching, too. I love it. Thank you. I wish all stories were like this one. Now that your brother is older, does he think about the fact he’s adopted, does he long for his culture, or does he seem 100% content and like his place there is natural? My uncle that was adopted from Korea when he was around 2 years old feels no different than anyone else, and that is the way it should be! Thanks again, for sharing your heart warming story.
Like your uncle, my brother feels no desire to know where he is from. We joke that because he hates rice, he would’ve starved to death if he’d stay there. He is now 28 and doesn’t really have much interest in the Philippine culture or the family he has there (he had several brothers and sisters). He’s as American as everyone else. There was a stint when classmates used to ask him why he is black (he’s not) and the rest of the family is white, but that faded quickly after it was all cleared up (that he was adopted) and everyone was cool with it. Green Bay, WI is very whitey mcwhiterton, so he does stand out a little. 😉
I’m glad to hear that! That means that your family was all he ever needed. I love to hear these stories! Your comment about Green Bay is HILARIOUS.