I was recently talking to a friend and he indicated he had a rough childhood. His mother was only 15 when she became pregnant and she raised him all alone so he never knew his father. I asked him to tell me more about that and out of nowhere, he gives me a fascinating twist. His mother had three more children after him and placed the last one for adoption! He told me how jealous he had been of the child because the adoption was arranged with people they knew and they were really nice and wealthy people. He wondered why this kid got to grow up that way while he lived in insecurity of his home and whether or not he would have electricity or food on any given day. Even though he was telling me very honestly how he felt as that child and how hard things were, every word he wrote to me had a positive tone, which surprised me. I think that even at a young age, he had compassion. He had compassion for his mom who worked hard and did her best and he had compassion for the child getting a better life than he had, even though he was jealous. Because of the compassion he had as a child and young adult, he harbors no resentment now. Any of the strong emotions he was telling me about was his story telling of a 13 year old child’s perspective. But even to me, that perspective was sensible and not destructive. There is more to his story of struggles but he is one of the rare kids who maintained a level of compassion for his family no matter how screwed up it was. It just motivated him to do and be better. When kids are also exposed to drugs and alcohol at young ages, they will either follow in those footsteps or break the cycle. Although his sister followed, he broke the cycle. He has a very successful life and has even taken care of his family and provided them opportunities to succeed financially. After everything they put him through he still had the COMPASSION to want them to succeed when he was able to help. I’m confounded by his generosity to them and applaud it. It is a perfect example of how being empathetic and compassionate helps you more than it helps the other person! It should be com-patience instead of com-passion because it does require a lot of patience. Being compassionate can be hard sometimes; you should never be so compassionate that you’re taken advantage of but known when is enough. This is critical for adoptees who are determined to know why they were placed for adoption; never assume you know the answers and be compassionate enough to understand what the reasons were, just as my friend did his whole life. He is now a happy, healthy adult with a beautiful family. Compassion is a virtue that is just as important as patience, we all need it for a healthy life.