When I was a kid, I probably would have told you I had it rough. I didn’t get along with my mom and I felt like I had strict rules on me regarding my social life. My  mom and I were always at each other’s throats and I felt like an outcast living in the country. So now I wish I could ask myself as a kid, how is that different from anyone else?? I had it really great in all actuality. Even though I didn’t always get along with my parents, I had no real worries because I had a nice roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in my tummy. Above all of that, I had a family who adored me. I had it good but I know there are adoptees out there that really did have a bad childhood and I want to hear from you. Does the knowledge that you were adopted give you comfort because you know you didn’t really belong with those people? Or did it make you bitter towards your birth parents? Remember that your birth parents trusted the system and thought they were giving you a better life. I know we all feel better when we have someone we can be angry with but it is not healthy for you to hold this grudge and chip on your shoulder because of something that you couldn’t control (no matter how good it makes you feel to do so). Even if it makes you feel good to spend your life blaming others for the bad childhood it will not change your past and it certainly doesn’t help your present or future. As a very wise friend learned and passed on to me, you have to let your child-self know that it wasn’t their fault and it was ok to have suffered. Once you have accepted the trauma that happened and relinquished responsibility then you will be able to move forward in your life without holding yourself back. As I’ve said before, we all deserve to be happy. Don’t be standing in the way of your own happiness because you harbor resentment against those who caused you harm. So tell me…  Are you an adoptee that really had it good but because it wasn’t perfect blamed it on beind adopted? Or are you an adoptee who fell into the hands of parents who weren’t loving and had problems, maybe addictions? Let’s talk…