Unfortunately, no one emailed me with their opinions on the closed vs. open adoptions. I’ve done a tad bit of research and find that I’m conflicted on how I feel about open adoption. I’m all for the pre-birth process. I believe it is so healthy for both sides to get to know each other. A birth mother needs to know who will be raising the baby and it helps them avoid the constant wonder of whether or not the child was in a good home. The birth mother will have that level of comfort to help ease the feelings of pain and guilt. I also think it is beautiful how the adoptive parents are involved in the pregnancy and actual birth. The adoptive parents can then relay that experience to their children. They can tell him/her if it was a rainy or beautiful day, if it was a hard or easy birth, and who cut the umbilical cord. Not to mention the obvious value of the adoptive parents being able to bond immediately with the precious baby. All of that seems like a win-win situation to me! It is the post-birth process that I question and wonder who that really benefits. I know that there are varying degrees of open adoption so let’s start with the bare minimum openness: sharing photos of the child once or twice a year and submitted through a third party. This seems like a nice gesture by the adoptive parents to just keep the birth parents informed however, how healthy is that for the birth parent? The point of adoption is to relinquish your responsibility to that child. That is a very painful experience and it seems like the once or twice a year reminder of your decision would make it worse. The degrees go up from there, all the way to visitations by the birth parents. I really don’t know who this benefits. This, to me, is not really adoption because the birth parents have just let someone else take on the hard responsibilities but the birth parents have the freedom to come around when they feel like it which interrupts a healthy child’s emotional development and the development of the family unit. This helps no one. So tell me…. where am I right and where am I wrong? What do you feel are the downfalls and/or the benefits? If you’re an adoptee, I want to hear your thoughts on this. I think I’ve been clear about my feelings on this. The less it is reinforced to the child that they are adopted, the better. Ok – for real, it’s YOUR TURN. Talk to me.