Ahhhh, the ultimate question for an adoptee…. Do I want to know who my birth parents are? It’s a very personal choice and there are many different factors involved in making that choice: medical history, ancestry curiosity, and a need to know why are just a few. I think it is interesting that there are a lot of people out there who have absolutely no desire to know. I can’t relate to that and would love to understand that feeling. Some have told me that they had such a great childhood and are so close to their family that they feel fulfilled enough that the knowledge of the birth parents would be unnecessary and might even disturb the balance and happiness they have. Then there are some who strictly want a medical history and nothing more. For others, even that happy childhood couldn’t suppress the curiosity, such as the case with me. I am part of the “I just gotta know” crowd! As hard as it is for the adoptees, it is also very hard for the adoptive parents. It is human nature to want to know who created you but it is also human nature for a mom and dad to feel insecure about that. My mom really struggled with my desire and ultimate search for my birth mother. It was hard but I continuously encouraged my mom and let her know that no one could ever replace her. In the end, she and my birth mother met and formed a beautiful friendship and everyone is happy! The moral of the story is that there needs to be a mutual understanding and compassion between adoptive parents and the child. Parents need to give their child the space they need to figure it out without having to feel guilty and the child needs to give the parents space to feel insecure and uneasy. Both need to communicate openly, freely, and often about their feelings so it can be addressed and resolved quickly.