What causes us to feel a certain way? I think a lot of how we feel comes from perception. There are adoptees out there that weren’t adopted from birth. Some tell me that they never felt like they belonged because they always knew they were adopted and came from somewhere else. One particular adoptee told me that she had negative feelings because she was 3 ½ years old when she was adopted. Sadly, her biological mother’s friend dropped her off at an orphanage and then she was adopted. I asked her if she had memories of that and she said no. So how does she still feel to this day that she never belonged and out of place? I asked her if her parents treated her nicely and she said yes, she had a great family. So my question is if you don’t ever remember NOT being a part of that family and was raised in a decent home with parents, brother, cousins, aunts and uncles, how do you FEEL that abandonment? If I burn my hand, I feel the pain and likely won’t forget it. If I never feel that burn, I don’t feel the pain. However, if I tell myself daily that I did burn my hand and that it really hurt then eventually I’m going to simply feel that emotion even though I don’t remember the physical act of burning my hand. My theory is that she doesn’t feel this way because of her personal memories but a perception that she created for herself throughout her life. In her mind, she always told herself I’m adopted and I don’t belong here. It’s no wonder after telling herself that over and over her whole life that she took on the feeling of not belonging. Not to say her life was perfect and she should’ve been perfectly happy, however, I believe we can control our emotions. We choose how to process those events in our lives. If you want to be a happy person, then create that perception for yourself! Perception always becomes reality. Enjoy the yummy chocolates and throw away the bitter ones.